Sunday, April 8, 2018

Suzanne Marie Brown (Gardiner) 1955 - 1994


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Suzanne Marie Brown was delivered by her 33-year-old father on February 2, 1955 in El Monte, California. She is the second of six children, with Johanna being first, then Suzanne, Jim, Judy, Charles and David. She went to BYU after high school where she studied writing. She was a prolific reader, writer and gifted speaker.

She was 19 when she met, fell in love with, and married Kent Gardiner. When they looked for her wedding ring, she fell in love with a ring that had six small diamonds surrounding a larger central diamond. She said the six diamonds represented the children she wanted and the central diamond, her husband. The dream was realized, but just barely. While pregnant with her sixth child, she discovered a lump in her right breast. After nursing Brett, she had the lump examined and discovered breast cancer. She fought the disease valiantly for five years and then died in her husband’s arms. Her greatest desire was to have an eternal family and return as a group to live with Heavenly Father.

After her death, Suzanne’s pictures, videos and her writing became invaluable. Her journal entries represented a reservoir of faith, patience and love she had for each of her children and her husband. Suzanne was known for her poise and charm. It was often said of her, “she is beautiful on the outside and beautiful on the inside.”



1957 February, Hacienda Heights, Suzanne

Brown Family 1974



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Suzanne at 13, 1968:

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In 1973 Suzanne was a model for wedding dresses at May Co:

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LtoR  Chad, Kent, Suzanne, Rachel, 1979:






5. Suzanne's Life Video:


 Suzanne Gardiner from K on Vimeo.
Untitled from K on Vimeo.






Suzanne's Heritage:

 Suzanne's Heritage from K on Vimeo.



Bridal dress:

 Suzanne's Dress from K on Vimeo.




Suzanne Gets a Headstone:


 Suzanne's Grave Site from K on Vimeo.






Suzanne's 1972 audio
7.5 minutes of audio 1972:

















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Here are some three to five minute moments with Suzanne: 
 1977 Suzanne from K

1977 Suzanne from K on Vimeo.






















 Suzanne and Ryan 1985 from K on Vimeo.




































































 1987 Chase from K on Vimeo.










 1987 Drawing from K on Vimeo.

















































 Suzanne Camps 1988 from K on Vimeo.
























































 Suzanne Swims 1988 from K on Vimeo.











 B is Born 1989 from K on Vimeo.

















































On the day she died, while she slept, I thought about how much I loved Suzanne's hands.  I gently took these pictures as she lay on the bed rhythmically breathing.  People often commented on how exquisite her hands were and some even said she could be in TV commercials where they used close ups of hands.  Her fingers were long and slender and very attractive.  She did her own nails.  Suzanne had a beautiful figure, arresting smile and beautiful hands.

























Dad
My dad took us camping every summer to mammoth. He taught me how to pick the best campsites, next to the bathroom but secluded, how to build and start a fire, and how to fish. Sometimes we fished from before sunrise to well after sunset. There were times when, after five hours of fishing, I still couldn’t catch any stupid fish. Other times I caught the limit in less than an hour. Although I loved the adrenaline rush of catching a fish. I hated gutting and scaling my catch. My dad made me cook and eat one of the fishes I had caught that day.

As well as teaching me and all of my brothers and sister, my dad also taught almost every kid on our street to ride a bicycle without training wheels. Dad held onto the back of my shirt and ran along side with me as I peddled away, I did all right until I realized he was gone. Likewise, I learned how to drive a stick shift from my dad. I took my drivers test on a stick shift; I had gotten so good at it.

My dad is Mr. Fix-it. When the car, stereo, garage door, or computer is broken he can fix it. My dad can make almost anything better, anything except my mom. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer five years ago. She went from good to bad to really good, to really bad until she died.

I remember when I was around none years old, sitting in church one day, I decided my mother was the most beautiful woman in the world and someday I wanted to be just like her. My mom lost all her gorgeous long brown hair, she couldn’t hold down her food and eventually she couldn’t even dress herself. I loved my Mom very much, but couldn’t ever tell her. I felt awful b because she was going through so much pain. I felt like my dad wasn’t dong enough or treating her right. I hated my dad because I didn’t know what else to do.

Every day my dad took care of my mom. He dressed her, fed her, and encouraged her to became better. In addition to being her personal nurse, he was also super-dad. He came to all the football games and basketball games and soccer games. along with the tap dance and ballet lessons. My dad does all the laundry, mops the kitchen floor, and bakes the best homemade bread.

Last Friday night my dad spent the night on the hard, cold hospital floor, next to my mom’s bed. He stayed with her the whole night, scared to leave her side. Sunday morning my dad tried to read her will to us, but couldn’t b because he stared crying. After we left, my mom asked him if she left anything out that he wanted. He said all he wanted was her love. My mom said she would love him forever.

My dad stayed home all day Monday and lay next to my sleeping mother, listening to her breathe. Monday night my dad called us all around her bed as she died. My dad held her hand and cried. He said, “Twenty years ago I saw Suzanne at a dance. Not only was she beautiful on the outside, she was also beautiful on the inside. And I’ve loved her every day since.”

RG
9/30/94
















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California death index: 







Death certificate: 























 
 
 

 
 
 Suzanne is buried in Meditation lot 246 F below a tree
 
Merwin Waite on Suzanne. Merwin was a friend of the Browns who at one time was a bishop of the family and a very good friend of Suzanne.  She always called him her "favorite Merwin Waite"

At the Scripture Study my wife June found out that Suzanne Brown Gardiner had passed away Monday evening and her funeral will be held at 10 am. on Thursday. She passed away because of the cancer that got into her system from the tumor in her breast just before the birth of her sixth child five years ago.

September 28, 1994 (Wednesday) I worked out again today, read, showered and ate. I then wrote a note for Jim Brown and Kent Gardiner.

September 1994
I was always her favorite. She told me that every time I saw her. It didn't matter whether it was at the ward or in the Celestial Room of the temple where no one ever lies. She would approach me dressed in holy robes and even when wasting within with that indiscriminate cancer would smile that radiant, loving smile and tell me that I was her most favorite Merwin Waite in the whole world! I will miss her terribly!

June had done some shopping after getting a permanent and we posted the letters and stopped at the church for her to leave something for Primary. I called and talked to Jim Brown. I told him of our love for them and for Suzanne. He was reassuring. He told me about the last two days of Suzanne. Sunday the family all said goodbye to her. On Monday she told her dad that she was terribly tired and had an enormous headache. He gave her a shot and she drifted into sleep. This was in the morning and by that night she had calmly slipped away. He told me that Suzanne had asked him to speak at her funeral. He then asked me to cry for him.

September 29, 1994 (Thursday)
June and I picked up Joyce Osborn and drove out to near Magic Mountain for the funeral of Suzanne Brown Gardiner. It was held in her ward there. We took the 605 to the 210 and took the Diamond Lane all the way to the 5 and then up a few miles to the McBean Parkway off ramp. Bishop Richard Patterson conducted. The ward choir sang, "Be Still my Soul" and the invocation was offered by David Brown.

Sandy Halverson was the first speaker. She is the Relief Society President of Suzanne's ward. As I look around at this congregation and all the personal experiences we have had with Suzanne, I never remember Suzanne ever asking for anything for herself. I visited her in the hospital Sunday. She dozed. She was in and out of consciousness and as we left she said, "Bishop, I think my husband needs a blessing’, always thinking of others. She quoted from Philippians 4:8 “...whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest...just...pure...lovely...of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." This is reemphasized in the thirteenth article of faith. I have been a friend of Suzanne for years and especially these last few months as her Relief Society President. I have a great love for Suzanne. I am grateful for the reassuring hymn, one of Suzanne's favorites. I have heard many beautiful stories about Suzanne in the last few days, but I will share with you what we have done and what we have become. My first impression of Suzanne was at the front of the Sunday school class. An unfamiliar voice was offering such insight. She had such a thirst for learning. She loved beautiful things. I served as her Visiting Teacher up until but a few weeks ago. She knew the scriptures well and could find applications to her life from the Word of God. I treasure her wonderful insights. She amazed me with her involvement in good things. She was involved in community service, her children's education. She never sat back. She believed one person makes a difference. She became a leader at Stevenson’s Ranch. I rejoice in this example of being involved in a great cause. She never gave up on anything or anyone. I never heard her complain with bitterness about the things in her life‘. She loved life but never wavered. The day before she died she told Kent, "I think I am going to feel better tomorrow. “ I rejoice that as the doors of life were closing, her windows of faith opened larger, her testimony of Jesus and his mission was strong and steadfast. Her greatest love was for the Savior. The opening lines of her will says, "I bequeath to my husband and my children my eternal love and faith in Jesus Christ." She told a story of a sister in the ward helping last Thursday. She did some small errands for Suzanne. Suzanne wanted one more thing but hesitated. The sister sensed this and Suzanne said she wanted to purchase a picture of Christ for a dear neighbor who had been so kind. To the end she wanted to do for others, to endure. It gives me great peace as I consider the meeting of Suzanne with the Savior. I more clearly understand the scripture, “It is better to give than to receive." She encouraged spiritual strength. We gave her meager food and she gave us a spiritual feast. She called us angels but I told her it was only so because we were nearer heaven when we were with her. I testify that she lives. I’m grateful for her life. She will always be my friend. I am grateful for the Gospel and for a friend who so beautifully showed me how to live it.

Stacey Smith accompanied by Karlene; Johnson sang "O Divine Redeemer"

The bishop said that before coming to the chapel, Kent shared a moment with the family and they all knelt 113 and invited the spirit to be here. He then introduced President James Brown James Brown was the concluding speaker. I cannot improve on Sandy’s talk or the music. I am here by assignment. It is poetic justice. I had Suzanne speak at my wife's funeral and she has asked me to speak at hers. There were two factions in a town. The girl from one faction and a man from the other fell in love and married. Two sides. They had a baby and the baby became sick. There was no one to help. One woman finally came lo help. She then helped another. She fell into a deep sleep and dreamed she tended the baby Jesus. To those who cared for my daughter, I want you to know how much I love you. I'm grateful to have had her for 39 years. Matthew Cowley reportedly spoke at a funeral of a child and said, "I wish I had that child for eternity." He not being blessed with children.

I'm equally grateful for all my children. Johanna my first. I called my father to tell him about this wonder. Then came Suzanne. I didn't want to saddle any of my children with my name but my wife insisted that we call our third child Jim. Someone said when seeing my infant son Jim, "He looks just like you but he's healthy."(laughter) Johanna wrote a book. You ought to go out and purchase it. It is excellent (laughter) Jim has seven children. Along came Judy. My baby daughter was the champion of the family. She beat up on a neighbor boy who was beating up on her older brother Jim. Then Charles came along born on the first of January. He was the first born in the hospital but there no material recognition for that. In some circles I am known as Charley Brown's father. (laughter) Then came David. He is the kind of boy that every mother wanted her daughter to marry. We have 51 grandchildren. Relax, I am not going to tell you about them all.(laughter) My father was asked once by a friend, "Have I ever told you about my grandchildren?" My father answered, "No, and I'm certainly glad you haven’t.“(laughter) My life has been justified by all of my children. President Hinkley visited our home and asked me, "Why are you so blest?“ I don't know, I guess it was because of my family.

I had a counselor who died. I tried to put into words. He came to me in a dream. I asked him if that is the way it is. He said, "That's the way it is.“ A boy just barely of talking age had an aunt who died. His parents were explaining that she had gone to Heavenly Father. "Oh, who brought her? Was it the same that brought me?“ He pointed out from a picture, his grandfather, whom he had never seen. There is a close relationship between earth and heaven. Anything that interferes or damages a family relationship is a sin. You can see that it is almost impossible to just hurt yourself. President McKay said that it is a greater compliment to be trusted than to be loved.

In World War II there were two brothers who served in the same company. One lay dying in a land field, which was under severe fire by the enemy. The other brother against the strong advice of his outfit went out into the minefield under the withering fire and retrieved his brother. As he brought lifeless body back to the trenches his buddies told him it was useless and he shouldn't have risked his life. But he said that he got there just before he died and his brother said, "I knew you would come." To have trust in someone is the greatest. He told about being a widow or a widower. First you are numb. He counseled us to care for them. Widows don't like to go to show alone. To you children it will sink in as time goes. You can help one another. That way you can better hear your grief. Get along and help your dad as a single parent. And it will please your mother so much. Paul said, "If in this life only we have hope in Christ we are of all men, most miserable." That's what the gospel is all about. We live after this life. The unexpected early death of a mother is difficult. But if we say death is a calamity wouldn't that indicate that mortality is the perfect state. There is n0 tragedy in death. I bear testimony that the Gospel is true. Joseph Smith saw what he said he saw. The Book of Mormon is a corroborating witness of Christ. The proof is in the reading of it for yourself Richard L. Evans said death is conquered, and I behold family and friends to those grieve rejoice in the real meaning of understanding of life. D & C 128122 "Let your hearts rejoice and be exceedingly glad."

Bishop Patterson spoke for all to those who spoke and sang and since Suzanne would appreciate my announcing for those who would like to know more about this church, he then announced the conference sessions on TV for Saturday and Sunday. The benediction was offered by Charles Brown. The internment was in Eternal Valley Cemetery and the dedication of the grave was by‘ James Brown Jr. The Pallbearers were Chad, Eric and Ryan Gardiner, David, Charles and Jim Brown, Mike Wooten and Glen Goodman.

For some reason I wept, excessively for me, during the services. And when I saw brother Brown afterwards he took my hand and thanked me for crying for him. My eyes were still reddened. The spirit of the Lord that Kent prayed for was certainly in that memorial service.
114

Research:

Dad I had a funny dream last night that I keep thinking about. Our whole family was sitting in pews at the Valencia Stake Center and most the other pews were empty, yet in my dream we were at the temple. Then Suzanne walked in and she looked beautiful and she sat down next to you. She was wearing a long white skirt and her silver belt around her waist with a loose blue shirt.  You were so happy you were crying and we all were because we were so happy to see her and I wanted to sit next to her so bad. I said, "Mom why are you back to life? Is it the second coming already?!"  I thought for sure it must be the second coming of Christ and I was so bursting with joy I couldn't stand it. Then Suzanne said, "No, its not the second coming yet. Heavenly Father told me to come back to earth because I already learned everything I needed to on the other side and progressed as much as I could. So now I'm back!" YAY! We all hugged her and were so happy. I wondered how in the world we would explain this to non-members who knew she had died many years ago.  I put my arm around Deborah and told her we still loved her even though we were happy Suzanne was back. She didn't seem bothered by it all, she had lots of other people around her.

When I went home I was at the Stevenson Ranch house and my laundry had all been cleaned! I had some nice new clothes I had needed and the house was clean and dinner was made! It was so wonderful. I thought, "This is what its like to have a real Mom!"  I couldn't get enough of her, seeing her, talking to her, being with her. The world was right again. Life was suddenly easy. It didn't matter that I was a grownup now, you're never too old for a mom. I found blocks of sugar cubes that had letters on them and I spelled the word MOTHER and left it on her bathroom counter.

I was so mad when my alarm went off. I tried to ignore my alarm and go back to my dream but it was gone. I hadn't dreamed about Suzanne in a long time. 
 A.


 Second version: 2010

Its Suzanne's birthday today!  She would be 55 today if she were alive.

I had a dream about her a couple weeks that I told dad about. Our whole family was sitting in pews at the Valencia Stake Center and most the other pews were empty, yet in my dream we were at the temple. Then Suzanne walked in and she looked beautiful and she sat down next to dad. She was wearing a long white skirt and her silver belt around her waist with a loose blue shirt.  We were all so happy that we were crying, we were so happy to see her and I wanted to sit next to her so bad. I was jealous she was sitting by dad. I said, "Mom why are you back to life? Is it the second coming already?!"  I thought for sure it must be the second coming of Christ and I was so bursting with joy I couldn't stand it. Then Suzanne said, "No, its not the second coming yet. Heavenly Father told me to come back to earth because I already learned everything I needed to on the other side, So now I'm back!" YAY! We all hugged her and were so happy. I wondered how in the world we would explain this to non-members who knew she had died many years ago.  I put my arm around Deborah and told her we still loved her even though we were happy Suzanne was back. She didn't seem bothered by it all, she had lots of other people around her.    

When I went home I was at the Stevenson Ranch house and my laundry had all been cleaned! I had some nice new clothes I had needed and the house was clean and dinner was made! It was so wonderful. I thought, "This is what its like to have a real Mom!"  I couldn't get enough of her, seeing her, talking to her, being with her. The world was right again. Life was suddenly easy. It didn't matter that I was a grownup now, you're never too old for a mom. I found blocks of sugar cubes that had letters on them and I spelled the word MOTHER and left it on her bathroom counter.

I was so mad when my alarm went off. I tried to ignore my alarm and go back to my dream but it was gone. I hadn't dreamed about Suzanne in a long time.

Kent: A, This occurred two days  before Spring Vacation a year and a half ago, 2008.  I went to bed normally and dreamed that I saw Suzanne sitting in a classroom through a window.  She was intently looking at the teacher and I didn't feel I wanted to intrude.  So I longingly gazed at her through the window and wished I was with her. I felt privileged just to get a glimpse of her.

The next night I had another dream.  This time I was walking along the street and came face to face with Suzanne.  She could talk very much but I was excited because I was so closer to her than the night before.  Then I awoke.

The next night I was in Arizona visiting the Gardiner's and went to bed on the red couch.  I  dreamed that I was in the temple with Suzanne   We talked and sat close in the Celestial Room.  I was in wonderland.  She was pretty and vibrant, just as I remembered her.  I was overjoyed to see her again and to hear her voice and to be with her.  All was finally well. Then I awoke.

What a wonderful gift from heaven to spend three successive nights with my dear sweet Suzanne.


September 1994 from Merwin Waite:
I was always her favorite. She told me that every time I saw her. It didn't matter whether it was at the ward or in the Celestial Room of the temple where no one ever lies. She would approach me dressed in holy robes and even when wasting within with that indiscriminate cancer would smile that radiant, loving smile and tell me that I was her most favorite Merwin Waite in the whole world!  I will miss her terribly!

June had done some shopping after getting a permanent and we posted the letters and stopped at the church for her to leave something for Primary. I called and talked to Jim Brown. I told him of our love for them and for Suzanne. He was reassuring. He told me about the last two days of Suzanne. Sunday the family all said goodbye to her. On Monday she told her dad that she was terribly tired and had an enormous headache. He gave her a shot and she drifted into sleep. This was in the morning and by that night she had calmly slipped away. He told me that Suzanne had asked him to speak at her funeral. He then asked me to cry for him. -

September 29, 1994 (Thursday)
June and I picked up Joyce Osborn and drove out to near Magic Mountain for the funeral of Suzanne Brown Gardiner. It was held in her ward there. We took the 605 to the 210 and took the Diamond Lane all the way to the 5 and then up a few miles to the McBean Parkway off ramp. Bishop Richard Patterson conducted. The ward choir sang, "Be Still my Soul" and the invocation was offered by David Brown.

Sandy Halverson was the first speaker. She is the Relief Society President of Suzanne's ward. As I look around at this congregation and all the personal experiences we have had with Suzanne, I never remember Suzanne ever asking for anything for herself. I visited her in the hospital Sunday. She dozed. She was in and out of consciousness and as we left she said, "Bishop, I think my husband needs a blessing’, always thinking of others. She quoted from Philippians 4:8 “...whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest...just...pure...lovely...of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." This is reemphasized in the thirteenth article of faith. I have been a friend of Suzanne for years and especially these last few months as her Relief Society President. I have a great love for Suzanne. I am grateful for the reassuring hymn, one of Suzanne's favorites. I have heard many beautiful stories about Suzanne in the last few days, but I will share with you what we have done and what we have become. My first impression of Suzanne was at the front of the Sunday school class. An unfamiliar voice was offering such insight. She had such a thirst for learning. She loved beautiful things. I served as her Visiting Teacher up until but a few weeks ago. She knew the scriptures well and could find applications to her life from the Word of God. I treasure her wonderful insights. She amazed me with her involvement in good things. She was involved in community service, her children's education. She never sat back. She believed one person makes a difference. She became a leader at Stevenson’s Ranch. I rejoice in this example of being involved in a great cause. She never gave up on anything or anyone. I never heard her complain with bitterness about the things in her life‘. She loved life but never wavered. The day before she died she told Kent, "I think I am going to feel better tomorrow. “ I rejoice that as the doors of life were closing, her windows of faith opened larger, her testimony of Jesus and his mission was strong and steadfast. Her greatest love was for the Savior. The opening lines of her will says, "I bequeath to my husband and my children my eternal love and faith in Jesus Christ." She told a story of a sister in the ward helping last Thursday. She did some small errands for Suzanne. Suzanne wanted one more thing but hesitated. The sister sensed this and Suzanne said she wanted to purchase a picture of Christ for a dear neighbor who had been so kind. To the end she wanted to do for others, to endure. It gives me great peace as I consider the meeting of Suzanne with the Savior. I more clearly understand the scripture, “It is better to give than to receive." She encouraged spiritual strength. We gave her meager food and she gave us a spiritual feast. She called us angels but I told her it was only so because we were nearer heaven when we were with her. I testify that she lives. I’m grateful for her life. She will always be my friend. I am grateful for the Gospel and for a friend who so beautifully showed me how to live it.

Stacey Smith accompanied by Karlene; Johnson sang "O Divine Redeemer"

The bishop said that before coming to the chapel, Kent shared a moment with the family and they all knelt 113 and invited the spirit to be here. He then introduced President James Brown.

James Brown was the concluding speaker. I cannot improve on Sandy’s talk or the music. I am here by assignment. It is poetic justice. I had Suzanne speak at my wife's funeral and she has asked me to speak at hers. There were two factions in a town. The girl from one faction and a man from the other fell in love and married. Two sides. They had a baby and the baby became sick. There was no one to help. One woman finally came lo help. She then helped another. She fell into a deep sleep and dreamed she tended the baby Jesus. To those who cared for my daughter, I want you to know how much I love you. I'm grateful to have had her for 39 years. Matthew Cowley reportedly spoke at a funeral of a child and said, "I wish I had that child for eternity." He not being blessed with children.

I'm equally grateful for all my children. Johanna my first. I called my father to tell him about this wonder. Then came Suzanne. I didn't want to saddle any of my children with my name but my wife insisted that we call our third child Jim. Someone said when seeing my infant son Jim, "He looks just like you but he's healthy."(laughter) Johanna wrote a book. You ought to go out and purchase it. It is excellent (laughter) Jim has seven children. Along came Judy. My baby daughter was the champion of the family. She beat up on a neighbor boy who was beating up on her older brother Jim. Then Charles came along born on the first of January. He was the first born in the hospital but there no material recognition for that. In some circles I am known as Charley Brown's father. (laughter) Then came David. He is the kind of boy that every mother wanted her daughter to marry. We have 51 grandchildren. Relax, I am not going to tell you about them all.(laughter) My father was asked once by a friend, "Have I ever told you about my grandchildren?" My father answered, "No, and I'm certainly glad you haven’t.“(laughter) My life has been justified by all of my children. President Hinkley visited our home and asked me, "Why are you so blest?“ I don't know, I guess it was because of my family.

I had a counselor who died. I tried to put into words. He came to me in a dream. I asked him if that is the way it is. He said, "That's the way it is.“ A boy just barely of talking age had an aunt who died. His parents were explaining that she had gone to Heavenly Father. "Oh, who brought her? Was it the same that brought me?“ He pointed out from a picture, his grandfather, whom he had never seen. There is a close relationship between earth and heaven. Anything that interferes or damages a family relationship is a sin. You can see that it is almost impossible to just hurt yourself. President McKay said that it is a greater compliment to be trusted than to be loved.

In World War II there were two brothers who served in the same company. One lay dying in a land field, which was under severe fire by the enemy. The other brother against the strong advice of his outfit went out into the minefield under the withering fire and retrieved his brother. As he brought lifeless body back to the trenches his buddies told him it was useless and he shouldn't have risked his life. But he said that he got there just before he died and his brother said, "I knew you would come." To have trust in someone is the greatest. He told about being a widow or a widower. First you are numb. He counseled us to care for them. Widows don't like to go to show alone. To you children it will sink in as time goes. You can help one another. That way you can better hear your grief. Get along and help your dad as a single parent. And it will please your mother so much. Paul said, "If in this life only we have hope in Christ we are of all men, most miserable." That's what the gospel is all about. We live after this life. The unexpected early death of a mother is difficult. But if we say death is a calamity wouldn't that indicate that mortality is the perfect state. There is n0 tragedy in death. I bear testimony that the Gospel is true. Joseph Smith saw what he said he saw. The Book of Mormon is a corroborating witness of Christ. The proof is in the reading of it for yourself Richard L. Evans said death is conquered, and I behold family and friends to those grieve rejoice in the real meaning of understanding of life. D & C 128122 "Let your hearts rejoice and be exceedingly glad."

Bishop Patterson spoke for all to those who spoke and sang and since Suzanne would appreciate my announcing for those who would like to know more about this church, he then announced the conference sessions on TV for Saturday and Sunday. The benediction was offered by Charles Brown. The internment was in Eternal Valley Cemetery and the dedication of the grave was by‘ James Brown Jr. The Pallbearers were Chad, Eric and Ryan Gardiner, David, Charles and Jim Brown, Mike Wooten and Glen Goodman.

For some reason I wept, excessively for me, during the services. And when I saw brother Brown afterwards he took my hand and thanked me for crying for him. My eyes were still reddened. The spirit of the Lord that Kent prayed for was certainly in that memorial service.

Research:
May 8, 2012
Hi, At times I get  lonely for Suzanne.  I wish I could sit next to her, hold hands, see her smile, listen to her voice and give her a hug.  I'm sure you feel the same way. A couple of times since she died I've seen women's faces who reminded me of hers which took my breath away for an instant.

Last night I had a dream that we were all traveling in a van.  We were going to see Suzanne across town.  We traveled there, went into a house and tried to call her.  The noise in the house made it very hard to hear her on the phone. I went outside to call her and a motorcycle went by.  Then in my mind I could see her sitting in a room and us trying to contact her.  Then my alarm.  I love your mother and like you I miss her.  Dad